Heartbreaking Presents

So last week my dad got a purple bag for my mother.

 It was really sudden and out of the blue. Purple is my mom's favourite colour. My mom and dad definitely aren't as close as I guess they were when he first proposed to her, and they definitely aren't lovey-dovey anymore, so I thought it was really sweet that my dad got her a little cute bag in her favourite colour.

 My mom got home that night and I showed it to her. She took one glance at it and asked if the laptop could fit in it (since that would be really convenient), but I told her it couldn't. It was too small.

 And that was the end of it.

 So tonight, I was sitting on the couch on my laptop, and my dad was watching television. Mom and my brother had gone to buy dinner, and it was just the two of us. Then he turned to me and asked if I could get the plastic bag that was under the table in the guest room. So I went and got it. And inside was the purple bag, gathering dust.

 He took it from me, sighed, and turned it here and there to look at it again.

 What broke my heart was when I saw "merry x'mas" handwritten on the price tag. My dad has cataract right now and it takes a lot of effort to read or write. (His operation is in February.) He opened the zips here and there, so I asked, "well, what did she say about the bag?"

 He replied, after another sigh, "nothing. I'm thinking of giving it to someone else."

 So I kept quiet and he put the bag on the other side of the room and went back to watching tennis. And that was that. And my mom and brother came home with dinner, and that was that.

The Twitter War So Far

Directioners on Twitter:
 "Haylor Swyles is a vaginal disease"
 Death threats to Taylor for dating Harry
 Photoshopped pictures implicating Taylor
 "Taylor called Niall a fat, ugly blonde pig"
 "Taylor said that Harry's part in Little Things is about her" (COULD YOU BE MORE STUPID HONESTLY IF YOU BELIEVE THIS)
 False rumous spread about Taylor
 #F*ckYouTaylorFromDirectioners
 #DirectionersDeserveCancer because the only reason this was trending was because you Directioners kept saying how utterly disgusting it was
 #DirectionersRespectHaylor (Thank you to people who tweeted that. Bless your souls.)
 #HarryIsHappierWithLouis
 #LouisIsPrettierThanTaylor (We all know what you're doing there.)
 #LouisHasABetterAssThanTaylor
 #ThingsBiggerThanTaylorsBoobs
 #WhereIsHarry
 "#whereisharry getting lost in Taylor's camel toe"

 Swifties on Twitter:
 #F*ckYouHarryFromSwifties (in response)
 #TaylorIsAbsolutelyPerfect
 #TaylorIsMoreFearlessThanHaters
 #HappyBirthdayLouisFromSwifties
 #SwiftiesRespectDirectioners (which of course never trended very well, but definitely did better than #DirectionersRespectSwifties, which only 4 people tweeted about.)

Back with Haylor

Since I last left off, Harry and Austin (Taylor's brother) have confirmed Haylor, Harry and Taylor have been spotted in Utah skiing together, and more shitstorms (as Dan would call them) have appeared.

 So, to all who are hating on Taylor...

 1. "For being a whore/having 632953958279 boyfriends/more boyfriends than The Wanted has fans/changing boyfriends like she changes clothes/lipstick."

 First of all, I doubt any members of #TWFanmily are going to stand up for you who claim so now. Thank you for constantly managing to hate on Taylor and The Wanted at the same time, those of you. Here's an apple for thinking you have sass to bring in The Wanted like that.

 Second of all, as I feel the need to bring in so many times, Taylor has had six boyfriends. Six. Do you change your clothes six times in seven years? I don't think so.

 2. "For hopping from one boyfriend to another."

 Actually, she was single for the periods of 9 months between Joe and Taylor L., 7 months between John and Jake, and 1 and a half years between Jake and Conor. Bless you.

 3. "Because she'll write a song after she and Harry break up."

 You must be new.

 4. "Because she is using Harry for his fame."

 Yes, the lady with 129 awards, 6 Grammys, 4 platinum selling albums, 22+ million Swifties, her own perfume brand, a career 7 years long, the youngest ever lady to be Billboard's Woman Of The Year, is using Harry because he has the attention of millions of girls aged underaged to 35 who all want to marry him. Sure.

 http://we-will-stand-tall.blogspot.sg/2012/12/the-twitter-war-so-far.html

 Bless you all.

Christmas cards!

Hello again, Internet! I've come to update you on my life progress.

 As all of you should know, Christmas is coming up in exactly a week (am I supposed to call it holiday season for you Americans because that's what I heard it was). I have some really nice friends (two of them) too, and these really nice friends decided that since Christmas holiday season Christmas was coming up (and because 'tis the season to be jolly) that it would be nice of them to send Christmas cards!

 So one showed up at my doorstep last Friday and it was staring at me in its orange envelope on my bed for 12 hours before I decided that the pain was too intense...and that I just had to be a nice person to write back.

 It went basically like this:

 Dad: Kirstin, there's a letter for you!
 Me: Oh really? [takes letter] Oh, it's from Sophia! How nice.
 Letter: Hello!
 Me: Hello, letter!
 Me: [puts letter on bed]
 Me: [proceeds to be on the laptop for the next 12 hours]
 Letter:
 Me:
 Letter:
 Me:
 Letter:
 Me: ...
 Me: I should write back, shouldn't I?
 Me: I mean
 Me: It's like
 Me: ...manners.
 Letter: [silent nodding of approval]

 So I spent the next few days going to Popular, buying 25 envelopes and a6 pieces of paper (don't even get me started on how paranoid I was mass buying with only thirty dollars in my wallet), coming home and working on my Christmas cards.

 Just kidding. I only started at noon today and it's Tuesday. (Procrastinator!)

 So far my progress in the last five hours has been minimal. I've split the 25 cards-to-be-made between my classmates and church mates - 12 cards for my classmates, 13 for my church mates. I've got to get stamps and mail my 12 cards by Wednesday so that they can get it by the end of the week - today's Tuesday and I've only finished 5. ("[looks me in the eyes] Good job" "sniff, sniff, thank you, that means so much to me you don't even know")

 But...

 When they are done, they are going to be legen...wait for it...

 DARY!

 Ciao. x

In conclusion

Hello to all of you bitching about Haylor. I have one picture that summarizes all my feelings and I feel that for the sake of your brain and everyone around you, you should read it.

 First, stop with the whiny bitching. 

And now you may read this;

 Everything I feel and have talked about in long-winded sentences has been summarized in to one picture. Props to the person who made this. Thank you for enlightening everyone.

 Peace out. x

More Haylor Drama

To update you on the Swifties/Directioners drama, the picture below got viral and started the (not even going to censor because the trend is sick in itself) #FuckYouTaylorFromDirectioners. I'm glad they had enough guts to leave who they were.

 Thank you for that, Niall.

 And of course, Swifties retaliated, making the #FuckYouHarryFromSwifties. (Which makes no sense to me because the two of them did nothing wrong and their names are just an indirect way of saying "screw you Directioners" because they are the real problem here.)

 I'm sorry, but since your fandom was nice enough to claim that the Directioners as a whole send the message across (because you are united and you are the best fandom in the world!), why don't you ask them why everyone's pointing to everyone fandom-wise?

 This is the photo in question;

 My initial reaction was just;

 To the person who made this - just stahp. You are worse than the troll account that started #DirectionersDeserveCancer, because you're doing mean things and not taking responsibility for your actions. Props to you for this. Thank you for creating more misconceptions and dramas. (Btw, personally, your taste in colour is scary. You're on the Colour Police's wanted list now.)

 This photo got viral (quite quickly of course, because everyone's just trying to find fault in this relationship) and thus the trend #FuckYouTaylorFrom/ByDirectioners (I'm glad the grammar got corrected along the way) was born.

 Okay, these are my problems with the photo;

 1. This photo is so obviously Directioner-borne, with poor colour taste and venomous rage, the kind of rage that leads to false rumours.

 Excuse me, but you are not finding the faults in this relationship - you are finding faults in Taylor herself. You are being a mean, biased shit. So why should what you say we taken seriously? Besides, it's been reported multiple times that Directioners are livid over this relationship. Any one of them would have enough reason to be this desperate. If anything, if you're going to find faults, you should look at the people who are sending Taylor death treats (because really, who ever sends Harry death threats?) and calling "Haylor Swyles" a vaginal disease. 

 2. The facts in this photo are unreliable in themselves.

 Do you have proof that all these happened? Captain Obvious would be more appreciated here than some shrivelled little demon concocting lies certain people would be desperate/naive enough to believe in her head.  These lies are hardly believable as truths.

 [reads all the points in order] No evidence...

 [Point 2.] Exhibit half (because I decided to make this halfway through all the points): Interviews?

 Come on. These boys joke about their relationship. They have had it brought up and the talk about it. Liam's said that Harry would be the best birthday present for Taylor. I don't keep track of their interviews, but I know this is a light subject with them.

 And even if they did dislike Haylor, would they be stupid enough to show all of you? It's like you're desperately trying to bring out the dark side of people that isn't there. Something a bit like a hypochondriac, but afflicted by conscious choice.

 ["May we have the lovely miss Point number 3 step up on stage please?"] Exhibit A: Simon Cowell aka Uncle Si supports the Haylor relationship.

 He's been quoted, and you can find it in this Youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ2W9dURL7E. After saying something like that, do you really think he'd take back his words? Simon Cowell is man with pride. He wouldn't contradict himself like that by saying that Taylor isn't good for Hary's career, because that would indirectly imply that he was wrong when he said "I think they are good together."

 So try again. Also, no evidence.

Misreading on my part, I'm sorry. "Simon is worried about Harry's career." That's it? You bring in the quote-on-quote 'fact' that he's worried, put it in this picture and expect people to assume that he is worried because of Taylor? Good going, anon. Have an virtual apple. Thrown at your head. 

 [Point number 4.] Exhibit B: Taylor never tweeted that.

 I'll be simple and straightforward with you - that whole thing never happened. You'd be desperate enough to pull that out and point a finger at her, wouldn't you? Get real! Unlike some of you, Taylor's twitter isn't her channel of inner-thought-releasing. You obviously do not know how non-personal her account is now. She barely uses it, unless it's to make an announcement or put in her two-cents of something big that happened or anything along those lines.

 So for Taylor to post "fuck you Directioners" and then delete it way after? People, please. She's not that stupid in the first place. And also, she's a celebrity and they have lives so, really...

Your evidence is here;

  Credit to ohsoswiftly.tumblr.com for that answer. Power to you, girl. If you go to her tumblr and look into it, you'll find it. Also, mobile notifications do exist and the fact that there are Swifties out there who would have her on their mobile notifications isn't surprising. So good luck trying to sniff out any lie there.

 [Point 5.] I don't even have an exhibit for that. That is an irrelevant fact. Everyone, celebrity or not, loses and gains followers every now and then. Doesn't mean anything, really. This isn't even big enough to warrant an exhibit. Power to you for trying, though. Have another virtual apple.

 [Point 6.] Also incredibly useless. I take it you don't write argumentative essays or debate very much? 

 [Point 7.] Back to point 4. When was the last time she actually did follow someone? Just because here we have to update our Facebook every time we go in and out of a relationship, doesn't mean celebs like them have time for that. She barely even uses Twitter. She probably doesn't even know how much all of us use it (to bullshit). It's like saying I'm dating this guy. He has a Friendster. I have a Friendster. He uses it a lot and tried to add me as a friend but I never accepted it because I barely touched it at all.

 [Point 8.] Good grief. There ARE pictures with him smiling, so I don't even understand. Maybe they just don't like paparazzi following their every move. It can get quite annoying, you know (which you don't). Can pictures (that can say many different things - photography is an art, isn't it?) be interpreted by biased teenagers and have their interpretations taken seriously? I...don't think so.

 [reading on] Irrelevant and useless, irrelevant and useless, and without proof. Sorry. Stop trying.

 Now I will go to sleep and pray that everyone involved would just grow up and learn to research before you open your damn mouths. You have Google a click away, and with good reason. Use it.

 If you've read this far and understood everything, props to you. I feel so strongly about this because lack of research is a very common pet peeve in GoodReads that I've developed. My current aspiration is to wipe the world of ignorant people one by one (however you wish to interpret that).

 I sincerely wish you a good night.

The Afterlife (prompt)

You’ve died and gone to heaven, only it’s nothing like you’ve imagined. You’re greeted by a guide—someone from your past—who gives you a tour and explains what you can expect out of the afterlife. There’s one question you’ve been dying to know and, at the end of the tour, you decide to ask.

I clutched onto the ground for like I'm grabbing hold of my own life, squirming and writhing. It's just a bad dream. It's just a bad dream. I hear the words echo in my mind, but the voice is foreign. 

 Where are you? Come out now or you're grounded!

 Hey, watch this, sis!

 What are you doing, Jim? This isn't funny, okay?

 Stop it! Stop doing that!

 I am lying with on my stomach, fists clenched around blades of grass. They are sharp but not potent; green but not glaring; and ordinary but somehow they glow lightly in the sun, full of life. The grass has never looked this way to me before, and something about that makes me happy. 

 The surroundings seem familiar, but I can't seem to put a name or memory on them. I am in the middle of a backyard. Summer is in the air and floats, surfboards and deck chairs sit on the sides of the yard against a white fence, wet sand still hanging from them. Two tall trees stand at the two corners of the yard further from the house, shading part of the yard from the summer heat. I keep a small smile to myself, thinking about how happy the family that lived here must have been - taking in the beach, the waves and the summer.

 The sun is bright in the sky, but the heat isn't intense - it's soothing in a way that still reassures you of the season. 

 "Hello. You're finally here." 

 I look up to see a petite blonde who looks slightly younger than me. Her face is gentle and her hair is short and neat. She looks like the kind of person who would always smiling slightly even when they were neutral. Her face glows slightly, like everything I've seen around here, and she gives me a warm smile. "I'm Alyssa, your guide."

 I stare at her, perplexed. She looks so familiar, but as with everything here, I couldn't put a name to her. "My...guide." I echoed. "For what? And, I'm sorry, but you look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?"

 She shakes her head. "You used to know me," she answers cryptically, but I keep silent, waiting for an elaboration. Then she attempts to grin, looking wistful, recounting fond memories. "We used to be neighbours, before you moved. We were quite close friends, too, you and I."

 "Why did I move?" I couldn't seem to remember. My memories were flashes of blurred images. 

 "You're not meant to remember your previous life. Come, follow me." She beckons for me to follow her, and leads me out of the yard. "I'll show you around, and explain more."

 We walk along the quiet road. There is no buzzing of people or honking of cars. It is quiet, but a peaceful quiet, like a a fishing trip on a peaceful lake. Alyssa walks beside me, staring ahead for a while, before she turns to me and speaks. "Do you know that you're dead?"

 "Now that you tell me, yes. It seemed like a logical theory. Everything was too peaceful."

 "Was there much conflict in your life?" She asks, half-curious and half to counter me.

 "Don't you watch us from up in Heaven?" I tease. "Where are we, anyway? The bridge between Earth and Heaven?"

 She stops walking, and her hand drifts up to present the site in front of us - a mix of road and trees and suburban houses. "This is it. This is Heaven."

 "Oh," I hear myself say, sounding a bit too disappointed. "I mean, it wasn't really what I expected. A suburban neighbourhood and everything."

 We continue walking. "It isn't just an endless suburban neighbourhood, you know," she tells me. "Heaven is meant to replicate Earth. When you build a house down there, a house appear up here."

 "And when a tree is cut down on Earth, it disappears up here as well?"

 She smiles sadly. "I suppose so, yes."

 I frowned. "But...why? Isn't Heaven supposed to be magical, built on puffy white clouds with angels flying around? What's the point of making a replica of Earth?"

 "It's for humans like us. Once we die, we're brought here. We live, so to speak, the rest of our eternal lives here. Heaven was built in this way for two purposes - we aren't meant to remember much of our past lives, but this version of Heaven keeps the familiarity of it as we form and lead new ones. It's also meant to let humans appreciate the beauty of the Earth that they never got to while on Earth itself. 80+ years on average is quite short, you know. Too short to see all life has to offer."

 Alyssa was a very straightforward person - I'd learnt that from talking to her. But I still couldn't remember who she was. Didn't Heaven make her this straightforward person, or had she been one all along?

 The entire concept of giving us a second chance to appreciate the wonder and beauty of our Earth seemed to stick better than puffy white clouds and angel friends. I kept asking questions, and Alyssa never failed to find an answer to all of them, even though she couldn't have been here that long.

 "What about factories that pollute the Earth? Do we see those?"

 "Of course, of course. It's a replica. But we see them sort of like a faded, old photo - it's there, but it doesn't have the same impact as the actual one would. It's just there because it is. There's something magical in everything here, and as you lead your life you'll find out what I mean."

 We got to the end of what seemed like a never ending road, and Alyssa led me into a park. The path we took was shady and distantly familiar, and my heart began to ache. "Does that mean I won't remember people from my past life?"

 "It depends, really. Whether you remember or not. Sometimes you do. Sometimes you're not meant to."

 "So I can't make friends up here in Heaven, I take it?"

 She smiled. "After death, you're reborn into eternal life. This is different. We're alive, but back on Earth we're considered dead. In fact, we're more alive than ever. We can't die anymore. We can't be killed anymore." Something about how she said that last sentence made me wonder if it was somehow relevant to her.

 "But with eternal life, we don't need to fully feel all humn emotion. We're wanderers on this version of Earth now. You'll meet people along the way, like me. You'll explore, find the beauty on this Earth. Maybe if you'r lucky, you'll meet dead people who were famous on Earth, and talk to them. Be-friend them. But ultimately this journey in eternal life is to explore. Explore this Earth. You'll start to appreciate its beauty soon enough. For people who died too young in life, say you and me, we just might find our purpose without remembering our Earth lives." Alyssa stops to kneel down on her knees, and takes a flower from the bush between two of her fingers, bringing it to her nose and taking a quick whiff. She smiles wistfully. 

 "This life has so much for you to find," she finally tells me, looking up to look me in the eye. "You just have to look."

 The tour has come to an end, and it's time for questions. She looks at me expectantly, but remembers something, and her expression changes. "I'll tell you straight, because I know you're wondering. Who I am, I mean. Alyssa Pencin was my name on Earth. Yours was Emily Roth, if you didn't remember. Sometimes you'll get short glimpses of your past life, and you remember. There's a library where all your memories are stored, for those who can find it. It's not encouraged."

 She makes a guilty face. "I'm going off-topic, aren't I? Anyway, we used to go to school together, along with being neighbours. Your brothers were friends with mine. One year, I don't remember which, your family moved to another town. I can't remember which, either. That's the most I know about you. Less than a year after that, my house was invaded by burglars. They knocked out my mom and dad, and I was foolish. I screamed and threatened to escape and call the police. They went mad with my screaming. I ran - hid in my parents' closet, scared for life. They found me there...and they killed me to silence me." She manages a smile. "Moral of the story: it's not wise to anger burglars."

 "I don't feel bad for myself though. I feel worse for my parents, thinking that their daughter is dead. But that was only the beginning of all this."

 "How did you find out? Did it all come back to you or something?"

 She turns away from me and stares deep into the greenery. "I've been here for a while, Emily. Five years, actually. I've done my fair bit of exploring. Sometimes things come back to you out of nowhere even though you didn't want them to. Everything is just a distant memory now, anyway."

 I take a step towards her, venturing into an unknown area. I wasn't even sure of myself. "Alyssa...do you know how I died?"

 She doesn't answer for a while, and there's a long silence between us. She turns to face me again, and sighs. 

 And I see it in her guilty expression.

 She knows. She saw. She saw how I died. 

 "Alyssa...why can't you tell me?" I cry in desperation. "I want to know! I'm so unsure of everything! I need something to hold on to from my past life, okay? Please. Tell me."

 "I can't!" She argues, the guilty expression never leaving her face. "It's not for me to tell you. I don't want to regret letting you back in this. Death is death. We don't look back on our past here." She shakes her head slowly, staring at me. 

 And then I see something in her eyes.

 Waves. Big waves. A storm brewing overhead. 

 Come out right now, Jim! You too, Emily! It's dangerous out there!

 I step back, utterly confused. The flashback hit me like a slap to my face. I could feel my past life. It was so close. It was so close. If I just reached out, maybe- Maybe-

 Nyah nyah! You can't find us! Quick, take this. It'll help you breathe underwater. Now she'll never find us!

 I don't know, Jim. I think we should go back. The storm's coming and everyone else has gotten out of the lake.

 The voices were so familiar - one teenage male, one teenage female and one middle-age lady. I knew these people. The voices seemed to be coming from outside my head, but Alyssa looked at me helplessly as I broke down in front of her. She couldn't hear them. Why couldn't she hear them?

 Don't make me call your father. Be good like Jack and come out. It's dangerous out there! You're teenagers, not little kids!

 Ooh, does Emily have no sense of adventure? Cluck, cluck, chicken! Come on. Let's see who can last the longest underwater.

 Jim, please. Stop being- JIM! Watch out, Jim! The wave! Get out! Get out now!

 Kids! I can't see you anymore! The waves are getting bigger! Please, please, just come back.

 Jim! Jim, where are you? Please don't scare me like that...Jim! Jim! ...oh, no. Oh my G- JIM! 

 I stare at Alyssa, wide-eyed. She had seen it all. She'd seen Jim died. She'd seen me die. I wanted to scream, shout at her, find my brother, go back to my family...but suddenly everything just felt like I was watching a boring science clip in school. I'd been sucked into my death, and I'd been kicked out. I couldn't feel the trauma I rightfully felt.

 Alyssa nodded her head, understanding the process. "It's supposed to numb the pain. You don't forget the way, but you forget the pain. It helps you to move forward instead of being stuck on the past." My jaw stays slackened, but I know she's right. This is the afterlife. It's a rebirth for me, sort of.

 "This is goodbye for now, Emily. It's your life to lead." She hands me a fragrant flower. "Here's a start for you. It'll all come naturally to you eventually."

 She smiles her pleasant smile at me one last time, and turns away, following the path into the park. And in a matter seconds, she's vanished.

 I look down at the flower - it's a white magnolia. 

 It was the same flower Jack had given Alyssa back when we were ten.

 Maybe I'll end up remembering more of my life than I expected. But until then, Heaven was mine to explore. And really, how many others could claim that?

 

CT Shooting

So if you haven't heard, last Friday morning a shooting broke out in Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

 27 people were dead after that shooting - 20 children, 6 adults and the shooter himself, who was killed by his own hand. Hashtags have been trending on Twitter like #CTshooting and #prayfornewtown. The only reason this is trending on Twitter is because it's been the second deadliest school shooting and the third-deadliest school massacre recorded in US History, but this only one shooting among hundreds that've been occurring since the 1700's. What I don't know is - why? Where do people find the motivation to go into a school full of young children with bright futures with a gun and a plan to kill? School shootings aren't limited to psycho killers and young children, I know.

 Many school shootings have also been inside jobs - a student from a certain high school with a vicious plan to kill off everyone who had ever offended him. That's what happened in the 1999 Columbine High School massacre. It was the shooting that inspired the 2003 film, Elephant, written and directed by Gus Van Sant. It may have been more understandable, with a clearer motive, but it is definitely not excused. A life of another human being is not for you, or anyone else, to take. It has never been for you to take.

 The really heartbreaking part, though,  is seeing all the letters that were written by children who knew they were going to be killed. They knew! Can you imagine how much pain they must have felt, writing those letters? These are elementary school students, for pete's sake! They weren't immediately shot - they had time. They had time to think about how their family would be affected if they didn't make it out of here alive. They had time to write these letters. They had time to think about just how painfully they would die.

 Take a look at these letters that were found, written by children that died;

 As one Twitter user stated; "When you are a parent, you are responisble for other human beings - your children. Not knowing their fate each day is terrifying."

 The names of the dead children and adults have not been released yet, besides the name of the shooter, as they need families to identify the bodies. The police are undergoing investigations now. This has been the fifth school shooting in the US just this year, and it's really put a damper on Newtown's Christmas celebrations.

 I feel really sorry and indignant about the whole affair, but really, there's not much I can do. I pray for peace in Newtown and for the families of those involved...and I really hope this is a warning to the American public; do you really want to live in this kind of fear for your children, knowing that you won't be with them and that they are constantly in risk because deadly weapons are legal (and illegally bought)?

 [As someone has graciously pointed out] But then there is the other problem. "Guns don't kill people, people kill people with guns." So there it is, laid out to you. School shootings don't happen in American because guns are legal. They happen because they have bad people turned into murderers and the fact that weapons can be bought only puts that in their advantage.

 What the government needs is a good, solid plan if they plan to target the root cause of why these people turn into such inhumane life-takers. But until the American government finds time to deal with a more trivial problem of their 99 problems...

 R.I.P to all the victims.

Taylor Swift Questionnaire.

Doing all of these in one shot 'cause I can't wait that long.

 Day 1; Favorite song from Taylor Swift (the album)?
Our Song.
 Day 2; Favorite song from Fearless?
Fifteen.
 Day 3; Favorite song from Speak Now?
This is a hard decision, but Haunted.
 Day 4; Favorite song not on one of her full length albums?
From another album? If it is then Both Of Us by B.o.B featuring Taylor.
 Day 5; Favorite interview she’s ever done?
The one on Ellen. :)
 Day 6; Has she ever worn an outfit you wanted? Which one?
Urgh, I want everything she wears. They're all so pretty.
 Day 7; Do you think Taylor should act more? Why or why not?
I think she acts enough in her music videos. Did you see IKYWT? It was absolutely amazing.
 Day 8; Favorite GIF of Taylor?

 Day 9; Favorite music video of hers?
I Knew You Were Trouble.
 Day 10; Favorite song. Speak Now, Sparks Fly, or Long Live?
Sparks Fly for tune, but Long Live for lyrics.
 Day 11; Of all her songs, which do you relate to the most?
Relate to? Mmm... Never Grow Up.
 Day 12; Least favorite of all her songs?
Gasp! But it would probably be Teardrops On My Guitar.
 Day 13; A song that you wish had a music video but doesn’t?
Haunted.
 Day 14; What was the first song of hers that you heard?
Picture To Burn, I believe.
 Day 15; What was the first music video of hers that you saw?
Picture To Burn too.
 Day 16; Were you a fan of hers right away, or did it take time?
I liked her music, I started listening to more and more songs and gradually I just found myself in love with her. :)
 Day 17; Of her all her ex’s, who do you wish she was still with?
Taylor Lautner, definitely.
 Day 18; Who do you wish Taylor would do a duet with?
Ed Sheeran. But they did. :D
 Day 19; If you could plan a tour for Taylor, the opening acts would be?
Everyone she's previously worked with.
 Day 20; If you could ask Taylor one thing, what would it be?
How are you? Just that, simple question. I care for her well-being, and I sincerely hope she has a nice day.
 Day 21; Would you rather learn to play the piano or guitar from Taylor?
Guitar. I'm hopeless with that instrument.
 Day 22; Does she have a song that can make you cry? Which one?
Never Grow Up, White Horse, I Almost Do and All Too Well, The Moment I Knew.
 Day 23; Favorite song. Fearless, The Way I Loved You, or Forever & Always?
Forever & Always.
 Day 24; Have you ever seen her live? Do you hope to in 2011?
Nope, unless you count watching the Speak Now World Tour on my laptop screen.
 Day 25; Do you own any of her merchandise, other than her CD’s?
I have calender cards for 2013, but that's about it, sadly. 
 Day 26; Favorite album cover?
Red!
 Day 27; Do you ever find yourself noticing 13’s because of Taylor?
I've always noticed 13's but I like them more now because of her. :)
 Day 28; Did you see Valentine’s Day? What did you think of Taylor in it?
I didn't watch it. [dejected sigh]
 Day 29; Do you know all the words to all of the songs, on all 3 of her albums?
No, but I'm working on it. :)
 Day 30; Are you already excited for Taylor’s NEXT album?

Red is already out but I'm excited for the album after that!

Courtesy of heckyeahtumblrchallenges' 30 Day Taylor Swift Challenge Questions. x

Fearless

"To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.”
― Taylor Swift

I Knew You Were Trouble MV

If you haven't watched it yet, here it is. It's amazing.

I was horrible as a child

Or at least, an 11-year-old. That period in general was just a particularly bad time for me.

 I have quite a bad memory, so I know that primary school life in general was sucky, but I don't remember the events that led up to this conclusion. Well, I didn't, at least. Not until half an hour ago when I decided to be smart and read through my old blog posts.

 KILL IT WITH FIREEEE

 I did. But before that I looked through my old chatbox and that's when that big revelation dawned on me. This happened years ago, so it's no wonder I don't remember it, but now I know why those girls in my class didn't like me. D: Eh, I had it coming. Can't blame anyone else but my 11-year-old self. I shouldn't have been allowed on the Internet in the first place. If the Sims hadn't creeped me out, I probably would've been playing it then instead of screwing up my social school life.

 Bad times. Baaaaad tiiiimes.

 I'm glad those times are over, then. Eughh. [shudder] I guess I can check that off as another reasons why I am a horrible person. Why do they allow 11-year-olds on the Internet? 11-year-olds like me who don't know when to shut up. I was like a walking people offender and  whenever I opened my mouth to blab a fairy would die and I wouldn't even realize because I was so self-centred.

 My only condolence: "No matter what happens, trust God." My screwing up of my social life was needed for me to make wiser decisions in the future. It stings, though - looking back on yourself and wishing you weren't so immature.

 Maybe this was why I started to despise Facebook and any network where I could connect to my classmates and I started making friends online. Ulp, I'm moving back under my rock again. Call me when everyone of my generation has died, maybe in 2100.

 I feel like I evolved or something. Back then I was whiny, annoying, nasally, my English was poor and I didn't even care, I had an inflated ego (I was like a female douchebag omg) and I had no sense of discretion. Now I'm sarcastic, I don't like socializing unnecessarily, I don't bother talking to strangers very much, I flinch if I make a spelling mistake and I'm a bitter person generally.

 I guess this make me horrible either way. D:

 [voice fade into the background] And now we bring you the newest reality show on television, "Will Kirstin ever become a better person?" with our hosts...

My family

I think I'm just going to make this my personal blog and put everything from updating you on my (uneventful) life to ranting about my inner thoughts. Whoopee! Now I can tell the internet about my family and still try to remember all of mother's rules on what-to-share-on-the-internet. [challenge accepted]

 Since we're on that note: 11 days to Christmas. :)

 It all began once upon a time in the late 1970s...when my mom first met my dad. Or vice versa. Everything before their marriage is shady for me, anyway. Like a cloud of toxic grey gas shrouding their courtship days. I don't know what happened. All I know is that they met in high school, weren't high school sweethearts but eventually went on in life and found each other again.

 My dad proposed to my mother seven times before she said yes, and they had a small marriage in a church on December 4 in the early 1990's. They started going to the same church together and soon enough, I was born. First child of the family. They named me Kirstin because I was born in October. Why? Because my dad named James was born in September, and my mom named Lorna was born in November. It only seemed natural that since I was miraculously born in the month in between, I was to be named as such.

 It's an exotic Scandinavian name, they told me. Even if half the people you meet won't spell it right at first.

 So I grew up in a quaint little family of three, until six years later, when I got news that my mother was preggers. Again. I was the happiest older-sister-to-be ever. I'd even wished it was a boy to balance out the family. ...me and my stupid OCD instincts.

 And of course, I had not known then I was bringing a death wish upon myself upon myself something more deadly and lethal than a nuclear bomb.

 ...a baby brother.

 So God decided to grant my prayers and give me a little brother who also miraculously born in August. We named him Ian and the I-J-K-L Aug-Sep-Oct-Nov oh-all-of-our-birthdays-have-a-3-in-them family joke was thus born. He became the younger child and I became the older sister, and we've been the only two children in the family since. My brother was treasured because he was the only male descendant in the family who could carry on the family name.

 To this day I think of myself as one of the biggest influences in his life; the reason why he was introduced to the Internet so early (6! When I was 8 I still had a dinosaur for a desktop computer), why he learns sarcastic comebacks so fast, and all that. He's also one of the reasons (along with my mom and her soap) I'm adaptively slow at learning to use vulgarities habitually ("Mom if he picks up bad words at school it's not my fault." "Eh, whatevs.").

 And that is my immediate family. I'll probably get to my extended family nearer to Christmas since we spend it with them every year and they have all sorts of quirks worth talking about.

 Ciao for now. x

Their heroine

I found this a while ago and thought it would it be nice to put it up here.

"I asked the author why all the characters were so real, and easy to love. She told me it was because the people she based them off of were easy to love, and she loved all of them dearly. Then she gave me a sad sort of look and added, 'The only sad part is that I'm not their heroine.'"

Haylor Swyles

[Let me clarify I am in no way affiliated to the One Direction fandom that identify themselves as 'Directioners'. Nothing against them as a whole, though. Just particular little members.]

[I will, however, be using GIFs in this post. (First GIF-inclusive post!)]

The past few (well, two) days on Twitter, a contagious, deadly disease name has been trending...is it the swine flu? Bird flu? Is it back? 

 ...no, it's name is Haylor Swyles!

 Best fandom in the world, my foot. [slow, sarcastic applause] Hats off to you, Directioners [edit: Directioners and 0.1% of you who aren't because no one gets as hit in the feels as you guys]. Some of you are really mean shits. Look what you've done; http://www.ibtimes.com/why-haylor-swyles-trending-twitter-one-direction-fans-despise-harry-styles-taylor-swift-rumors#.UMqc1lRJ-RA.twitter. And this is only one of such articles. 

 I'm not saying all of you are mean. I know some Directioners out there can maturely respect Haylor Swyles even if they don't support it. But really? 'Haylor Swyles Vaginal Disease'? Allow me, (a Swiftie, just saying), to clarify and inform you on some things you might not have known did not know before you posed your argument on Twitter.

 Exhibit A: "Taylor's gone through 27 exes in the past 4 years/13 exes in the past 3 years and she is a whore..."

 Did you hear something? That is the sound of your upper lip meeting your lower lip and shutting up. Now that you've shut up, I will graciously tell you that in the past 7 years since Taylor's first début, she's only had 5 boyfriends. Five. Probably less than you'd go through in two years, huh? And to further justify these points, here they are, in chronological order: Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal and Conor Kennedy. Can you name me any others that have been confirmed and verified? I don't think so. 

 Exhibit B: "Hating them won't make Harry love me, but loving them won't make him love me either, so what's the point?"

 Maybe if you respected them and left them alone, Harry wouldn't have such doubts about his loyal fans. It's his decision who he gets with, and your vehement opposing isn't going to magically make erase every trace of Haylor Swyles on this planet. Here's a cookie for trying, though. Like Kingsley says...

 Exhibit C: "The reason why I don't want Haylor Swyles is because when they break up, she'll write a song about him saying how mean he is and he'll get hated on..."

  Have you sincerely ever heard any of her songs? 

 Okay, so Taylor's had five boyfriends the past few days. They break up. She releases a song. But have you actually looked through the lyrics? I take that statement above as a no. Here's an example for you - no, wait, let me show you all of them.

 Joe Jonas: Last Kiss, Forever And Always
 Forever And Always Lyrics, Last Kiss Lyrics.

 Taylor Lautner: Back To December
 Back To December Lyrics

 Do you see anything with a sliver of antagonism yet?

 John Mayer: Dear John, Story Of Us
 Dear John Lyrics, Story Of Us Lyrics

 Dear John has that sliver of meanness, but he was mean to her. He was, so there. He had it coming.

 Jake Gyllenhaal: Red, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
 Red Lyrics, WANEGBT Lyrics

 Conor Kennedy: Everything Has Changed
 Everything Has Changed Lyrics

 If you haven't realized, Taylor writes and sings about how she misses her ex-boyfriends. She does not write mean lyrics about how they are assholes/douches (with the exception of John Mayer). Get your facts right and stop being ignorant peasants. You would be doing the world a favour of reducing the number of facepalms the Earth has to go through. (Did you know that everytime you make an ignorant comment, a fairy dies? So for the sake of the dwindling fairy population, I'd like to beseech the public to stop.)

 Exhibit D: "'Haylor Swyles' Directioners: No. Swifties: No. Obama: No. World: No. Queen Elizabeth: No. Aliens: No."

 This format itself is overused enough. Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Aliens probably don't even know about Haylor Swyles. Speaking on their behalf is fine. But speaking on behalf of Swifties? Not happening, buddy. If you're going to speak on behalf of us and imply that we don't respect/support Taylor's relationship(s), be sure that you're not going to have any of us as friends. Because we Swifties respect Taylor's relationships. We don't talk shit about them. Have you seen anyone go "I'm a Swiftie and I strongly oppose Haylor Swyles and  [blah blah blah insert something offensive here in less than 140 characters]"? I don't think so.

 Exhibit E: "Every time I hear the word name (bless you, darling) "Haylor Swyles" I would just jump into a pool of spiders and let them eat my human flesh."

 Well, if that's your method of de-stressing, have fun with that. Only, where do you get spiders that eat human flesh? Let me know, because I'm having a hard time finding them.

 Exhibit F: "I'm surprised 'Haylor Swyles' has been trending for two days straight. That's longer than most of Taylor's relationships."

 Way to go, Tyler Oakley. 

 Exhibit G: "Swifites started #DirectionerDeserveCancer."

 Actually, that was started by a fake Swiftie troll account. And her ass has been banned off Twitter.

 Exhibit H: "'Haylor Swyles' is the reason this world is ending on 21/12/12."

 Actually, as Kingsley has kindly put it...

 Exhibit I: "Maybe Taylor Swift should have a song talking about how she is the problem."

 Boo you. http://fasterthanyoucansaysabotoge.tumblr.com/post/37376251106/taylor-talking-about-how-maybe-she-is-the-problem

 So there. I hope I have cleared up all the misconceptions on Taylor's side. Thank you for your kind attention - I ain't even mad. Just because I love conveying my emotions in GIFs, have a few last ones to basically explain how I feel.

 Ciao. x

Short (define short) introduction

To make it a little more personal, I'm going to introduce myself so you know more about me besides that grumpy character on the left panel.

 I've never been really good at introductions.

 This is going to be so formal like omg.

 Okay, let's get the ball rolling.

 I guess we've established that my name is Kirstin. I take drama as an official subject in school and acting is one of the few things I can safely say that I am passionate about. I take it as an after-school co-curricular activity as well, (but in another language!) and right now we're in the midst of preparing for a major bi-annual national competition that's happening in April.

 Writing is one of my other great interests as well - it's been one of my (very) few better points, especially since I've had a love of reading since young. Recently I won a gold award in the RCS essay writing competition, and I'm looking forward to more. I write short essays during 50% of my free time and think up story ideas during the other 50%. An author is what I'm apsiring to be right now! Past aspirations include, in chronological order: Cashier, Teacher's Assistant who marks all the worksheets, Astronaut, Artist and Fashion Designer.

 ...and this is where the formality ends.

 I also enjoy drawing on rough sheets of paper, having concerts in the shower and spasming (is that what the humans call 'dancing'?) to music.

 If anything, that's probably why I suck so badly at the sciences. I'm terribly imbalanced. 

 Did someone mention sports? [insert thigh-slapping chortling here] I am honestly not the type you'd expect to be fit and healthy and athletic. And I do live up to those expectations quite well. I could tell you of my glory days, back two years ago when I would go out under the sun almost everyday and work on my amazing hand-eye co-ordination with a ball and a couple of friends.

 ...but all of that changed when I graduated and changed schools. [let's-not-go-into-that sigh]

 As of the current moment my state of fitness leaves much to be desired ("Is that an exercise ball? Get it away from me! The horror!"), but I'm working on it. I need to start continue my jogging routine soon and get back in running shape for my cross-country and my 2.4k (I am so not cut out for marathons) next year. A recent mad dash in sneakers without socks under the rain without an umbrella on rough pavements has brutally reminded me so.

 Besides that, I have an elementary one grade in swimming, bare memory of my golf lessons from six years ago and bare skill from my bowling lessons I took five years ago. But if you throw me a ball, I will not run away screaming - I can assure you of that. (But if the world ends in floods or ball-shaped hail, let's face it, I'm not going to stay alive for very long.)

 As of now it's 1:23 am where I live, so I'm ending the post here. You should know enough of me by now, meh. I need my sleep. I have a bad chain habit of waking up late in the morning which leads to a late breakfast which leads to a half-finished lunch.

 Ciao! (I really need to use emoticons more, don't I?)

Why, hello there

Well, hello there, fellow soul of the earth!

  So this is going to be my very first blog post ever, on 13 December 2012. (It's Taylor Swift's birthday! Yippee!) In the span of the last half an hour, I was killing off deleting all my other, older blogs from centuries ago when I was younger and more immature. (10 is a bad age for me.) This blog shall me a fresh start for me. :)

  So, what exactly is going on this blog? You can expect just about anything - even I don't know yet. Though I'm expecting that most of the posts will be rants about social issues that no one I know has the time to listen to. Or maybe even short prompted essays...Facebook Notes is no longer a safe place for those. Or maybe random blurbs of a humorous conversation that I was involved in. Or maybe just me releasing all my inner thoughts ("...what are we having for dinner today?").

  I can just imagine this happening:
Mom: "Kirstin, you spend too much time alone. Go out and socialize."
Me: "Mother dearest, I am on my blog. I am ranting about the Fifty Shades of Grey and no one will stop me." 

  I sincerely hope all this 'releasing of inner thoughts' will help me reflect on how bad of a person I am and help me become a better one.